The River Runs Deep......

......the river of denial, that is. While this cleaning, sorting, selling and reorganizing my stash has been great and I'm thrilled to have done it, the reality is that it probably (most certainly!) wouldn't have happened if it weren't for the move.

Some days, I'm pretty excited and see it all as a time of possibility and adventure...a new start, the next chapter, etc. Other times, I'm nearly overwhelmed with the reality that I am losing my home which I have poured heart and soul into for more than twenty years. It feels particularly hard of late as the snow melts and my thoughts turn to gardening. I stand and stare at the yard and think, "this is the year I'm dividing those irises" or "I really need to move that rose." I wonder if that wisteria I planted on the old play set will finally bloom. I'm itching to get out there and see how much winter damage there is, see what made it and what didn't.

And then I realize that, this year, none of that matters. I won't be moving that rose or dividing those irises. It doesn't matter what survived and what didn't because, in a few months, these won't be my gardens anymore. It's almost more than I can bear and I have to shove the thoughts away before they plunge me into a deep and heartfelt sadness.

So, I just keep knitting and cleaning and try not to think about it. My latest efforts at the former resulted in these socks.......



























...my first Koigus. I loved, loved the colors and the yarn is nice but it's a pretty short put-up which meant a fair amount of concern that I'd have enough yarn. Consequently, they are a bit shorter than I like my socks to be and I may have inadvertently made my first Christmas gift! It's a disappointment, for sure, but life is too short to wear socks that don't fit...hand made ones especially. Not worth frogging, I'll just give them away and make myself others someday. Such is life, I guess.